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This is set during The New Teen Titans Annual #2 1983


Better to have…
by Nova

The empty dimension stretched out before her.  Here no living thing existed; only her.  It insured everyone’s safety.  She need only remain.

Here she had a chance, an opportunity to control the terrible impulses.  Undisturbed she could sink into the deepest parts of her psyche and do battle with the evil that lurked there.

She brought all of her considerable control to bear and sought to imprison the emotions that had begun to free themselves.  They were feeling and experiencing things they were never meant to.  If they roamed any farther she would be lost and the evil they held at bay would consume them.

“You know there is no going back.”

Raven accepted the truth of the statement.  The pure logically part of her brain was not influenced or swayed by the emotions attempting to consume her.  Once it had been the only voice in her head.  Then her father’s power had seared into her soul and destroyed the foundation of her control.  Now, she could only hope to hold everything together.  Never again would she know the cold peace and emptiness of an emotionless existence.

“The only hope is to remain here and forget the Titans.” Logic continued.  “We did our part.  They exist and will be there to fight us when the time comes.  The more we remain with them the deeper you will fall.”

All true; it was the reason she was here.  So far from where she desired to be.  That in itself was reason enough to stay away.  To want something, to need something was a great weakness.  Her resolve was firm.  She would remain here.  It was best for everyone.

The decision increased her calm and control; she continued the pain staking work of binding her emotions; limiting their freedom as much as humanly possible.

How long she remained, she didn’t know.  Minutes, hours, days, weeks, they all blended together in this place that knew no day, just unending darkness.

It began as a trimmer along her consciousness.  A thread she thought she had severed.  The knowledge trickled through; her team was in a battle.  They were in danger, enemies on every side.

“We must remain here.”

Yes, that was her only hope.  She had to give up her ties to friends, it was the only way.

Doom and dread rolled over her.  Something was going to happen.  There was a danger they couldn’t battle.

The emotions she had painstakingly bound began to tremble.

She gasped fear ripping through her.

In an alley way Kid Flash fell to the ground, Starfire was there holding him in her arms.  “He’s burning up.  Somebody-” she cried frantically, “Do something before he dies!”

Unconsciously, Raven rose to her feet.  He was poisoned, he was dying.

“We can’t save him.”

“C-cold…so c-cold…”

His voice whispered through her mind.

He needed her, she was his only hope.

“R-Raven…”

He was calling out to her.

“He hates you.  We almost killed him.”

I don’t hate him. I…

“He can never be ours.  You have to let him go.”

She was right.  They were a danger to him.  Even if they saved him this time, next time the danger could be herself.  If he died, the temptation of Earth would be removed.  Could she survive the fear and pain?  Wouldn’t that cause her downfall as quickly as love?

“R-raven…”

“We came to Earth to save it.  Which should we save?  Him or the world?”

Her heart pounded in her chest.  Could she let him die to save the Earth?  She was the danger.  The day would come when she would be the instrument of the world’s destruction.  Unless she found a way to separate herself from these emotions that threatened to tear her asunder.

She took deep breaths.  Calm, strength, control.  She could do this.  There was a world full of people depending on her resolve.

There was no choice left.

——————-

“For God’s sake… Where are you?” Wally cried, his voice weakening with every breath.  “RAVEN?!?”

Starfire held his trembling body in her hands as the poison racked his body with spasms.

“I am here.”

Donna spun in shock as Raven appeared behind her.  “How did you know?”

Terra turned as well, too far gone to be surprised.  “Kettle-Brain’s right.  She is a witch!”

Raven moved forward, “I sensed his pain… I was aware of his needs.  If he is not already doomed, my powers might be all that can save him.”

Donna gripped Raven’s shoulder, her voice soft.  “Raven, if Trigon frees himself because you–”

Raven closed her eyes, calm resignation pouring over her.  “Wonder Girl, I– I MUST do this.”

She looked down at the man she loved.  The time for fooling her self was over.  There was no going back.  The day she made him love her, she had made her choice and the world would live or die with it.

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