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Duo decides to spy on Girls’ Night and gets more than he bargained for.

Just a fun bit of fluff.

A few adult themes and much silliness.

Just Desserts

Ring Ring

Hilde: This is Hilde, what can I do for you? Miss Relena? I’m doing great, how are you? Wonderful! I haven’t heard from you in awhile, what’s up? A party? Hell yeah, I’ll be there. Your place, 2 weeks, girls only, got it. What should I bring? Oh, that will be no problem. Can’t wait. See you then. Bye.

Duo: Was that Relena? What did she want?

Duo asked from his desk across the room.

Hilde: Yep, she invited me to a party.

Duo: All right! When should we be there?

Hilde: Sorry Babe. You aren’t invited. This is for girls only.

Duo: Oh come on. What could you do by yourselves that you can’t do with us guys there?

He did not like the gleam that came to her eyes or that smile one little bit.

Hilde: Trust me there’s plenty.

Relena: I am so glad you can make it Catherine. Don’t forget to bring a tape of your favorite Bishonens. No, Pikachu does not count. I don’t want to have to replace another TV like I did last time Dorothy watched Pokemon. Yes, Dorothy is going to be there. She really isn’t that bad. You should see her after a few drinks; she has a tendency to giggle, a lot. Ok, see you then.

That is all of them. She thinks to herself, staring dreamingly at the floor to ceiling wall scroll of Hotohori across from her bed. This is going to be great. A night of nothing, but fun and cute guys.

Ding Dong

Relena hurried to the door. She had given all the servants the day off, wanting to have the house to herself.

Relena: Sally! You’re early, come in, come in.

Sally: I hope I am not too early. I just couldn’t take anymore of Wufei’s nagging.

Relena: No, that is fine. Come on in make yourself comfortable. I am just getting the final touches ready for tonight.

Sally followed Relena back into the kitchen.

Sally: I can’t thank you enough for inviting me. I really needed a break.

Relena: Glad I could be of some help. I hope you have a major sweet tooth, because I plan to pig out and don’t want to be the only one.

Sally’s beeper went off.

Sally: Crap, Relena I have to take this. Can I use your phone?

Relena: Sure, there is one in the living room.

A frown marred Sally’s face as she reentered the kitchen. She opened her mouth to speak, but fell silent as she looked around. Sally’s mouth watered as she gazed at the multitude of delights spread about the kitchen. Popcorn, chips & dip, Ice cream in 6 different flavors, chocolate and vanilla pudding, Chocolate cake, Strawberries with chocolate sauce, caramel apples, lemon meringue pie, cheese cake with 3 different toppings. As she watched Relena pulled 4 steaming pies from the oven.

Relena: I wasn’t sure what everyone would like so I got a little bit of everything. There are fruits, soft drinks, and beer in the frig. Did I miss anything?

Sally: Whip cream?

Relena tossed her a monster size can.

Sally: No, I think you have it covered.

Relena: This is going to be great. We will actually get to eat without Duo around to inhale everything.

That reminded Sally what she had planned to say to Relena.

Sally: Relena, will you come out on the patio with me for a moment?

Relena: Sure, what is it?

She asked as she followed the taller woman out of the kitchen.

Sally walked to the corner of patio farthest from the house. Turning she confronted Relena.

Sally: Relena, did you know your house is bugged?

Relena’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Relena: What are you talking about?

Sally: When I was using the phone I noticed the receiver of that shiny gold phone had fingerprints around the mouthpiece like someone had taken it off. Just call it an old habit, but I checked it and found this.

She held up a piece of plastic and wire.

Relena: Oh my gosh, who could have done this? Why would they bug my house? I make all my important calls from my office. How long do you think it has been there?

Sally: Unless I miss my guess, it is very new. This looks like the latest model, the phone hadn’t been cleaned and there is this.

Relena walked over and took a closer look at the listening device. Carved into the plastic was a tiny scythe.

Sally & Relena: Duo.

Relena: Hilde did say Duo was a little upset about not being invited.

Sally: So he bugs your house so he can hear what is going on. And you can bet if he is listening then so are the others.

Relena: Why that little… Can you find all of them and get rid of them?

Sally: I could, but they obviously went to a lot of trouble to find out what we are doing. I say we give them exactly what they want.

A devilish smile spread across Relena’s face. If Duo could have seen her then, he would have run for his life.

Relena: Revenge?

Sally grinned right back.

Sally: oh yeah, we will give them a show they won’t soon forget.

As the girls arrived Relena led them out to the patio and Sally explained what was going on.

Across town.

Duo: Damn! I forgot to bug the patio.

He flipped a few more switches and cursed again.

Duo: the vid link isn’t working either.

Quatre: maybe we shouldn’t be doing this?

He nibbled his lip in worry.

Wufei: Spying is weak

Duo glared at the stiff Chinese man.

Duo: I don’t see you leaving.

Everyone’s attention was diverted by the sound of the girls returning to the living room.

After some snack munching and a few beers.

             Hilde:               “Ok, I’ve already confessed. A show of hands, who here has slept with another woman?”

The guys tensed waiting for the answer, all except Duo. Who’s jaw was flapping in shock. Wufei tried to look bored, but failed miserably.

             Noin:               “Dorothy Catalonia”

 Quatre sweat dropped.

Duo: Sorry man, but that is no real surprise.

             Relena:               “Of, all the people here. I never thought you would be the only one who hasn’t.”

Wufei: WHAT!!

Quatre’s voice came out in a shocked whisper: “All of them?”

             Dorothy:             “Well, Miss Relena, what would your brother say if he knew you had?”

             Relena:               “Oh probably something like ‘but I thought I was her first.’”

             Hilde:              “Noin!” she squealed.

             Sally:              “Does he know?”

            Noin:               “No, and I wouldn’t tell him if he asked. The poor man would have a heart attack. He can be so sensitive about some things. Blow up the world, that’s fine. Show Relena how to use handcuffs and a whip, hell no.”

Duo looked across the room at Heero. Relena had not succeeded in getting Heero into bed yet, but she didn’t know of his secret fetish. Duo and Trowa were the only ones who knew Heero liked being handcuffed to the bed.

Heero was still typing away, ignoring them.

Duo was then completely distracted by girl’s conversation.

            Sally:              “Dorothy, have you even kissed a girl?”

            Dorothy:         “…”

            Sally:              “What was that?”

            Catherine:       “Oh, Dorothy you are so cute when you blush.”

            Sally:              “Ladies, she has never kissed anyone.”

            Noin:               “That is so sweet.”

            Hilde:              “When you decide to have your first kiss, I suggest Catherine. She is the best kisser I have ever met.

Duo glanced at Trowa

            Relena:            “Better than Duo?”

            Hilde:              “Hell yeah. No one’s better than Cathy.”

Trowa cocked an eyebrow.

            Sally:              “Really?”

            Catherine:       “Try me.”

            Sally:              “ok.”

            Noin:               “Go Sally!”


Quatre passed the tissue box to Wufei.

             Dorothy:         “Oh my. Don’t they need to come up for air?”

Quatre fanned Wufei. “Give him air.”

             Relena:            “While they are busy. I have been meaning to ask. Is Duo sleeping with you and Heero?

            Hilde:              “No, he isn’t sleeping with anyone.”

Duo flushed at the three sets of eyes starring at him.

Quatre:            “Heero?”

Heero slowly shook his head.

Duo: “It isn’t true. I am still with Hilde.”

            Relena:            “Why not? You were with him before weren’t you?”

The pilots impatiently waited the answer.

            Hilde:              “Nope, I have never slept with Duo.

            Relena:            “Why?”

            Hilde:              “He can’t keep it up long enough.”

Duo sputtered impotently.

Wufei snorted and Quatre blushed.

Trowa: “interesting”

Duo: “She’s lying!” he shrieked. “Heero, tell them!”

Heero: “hn”

Duo gaped like a landed fish.

            Hilde:              If I didn’t visit Cathy on my lunch breaks, I would go crazy.

Quatre patted a shell shocked Duo comfortingly on the shoulder.

There was some shuffling and unintelligible whispering.

             Relena:            Oh my gosh! In Trowa’s bed?

            Hilde:              He has the waterbed and handcuffs.

            Cathy:             Hilde, you promised not to tell.

            Sally:              Catherine get those lips back here.

            Hilde:              It’s just us, he’ll never find out or about the lion. I do wonder if the bright pink thong under his pillow belonged to him or Quatre.

            Relena:            *giggle* Quatre does look good in pink. I’d love for him to model a pink thong for me.

            Hilde:              So would I, but he wouldn’t be wearing it long.


            Hilde:              Dorothy? Why are you blushing?

            Relena:            You know who it belongs to don’t you?

            Hilde:              Come on, you have to tell us now.

Dorothy cleared her throat.

            Dorothy:         All I know is Quatre prefers commando

All the girls squealed in delight.

Duo:    Now they are making up things about Quatre

Duo looked at Quatre and noticed he turned an uncomfortable shade of red.

Duo:    Quatre?

Quatre:            It’s more freeing.

Wufei: How does Dorothy know?

Quatre stared at his shoes. Trowa sat back with a knowing smile.

Duo & Wufei:             Quatre!!

            Relena:            Now that Sally and Catherine have taken a break. Let’s take a vote. Who has the best body?

            Everyone:       TROWA!

Duo & Wufei glared at the Heavyarms pilot.

            Hilde:              Do you think he would be interested in a harem? With so few of us getting any we could keep him busy every day of the week.

            Noin:               He could handle it. If Lady Une is to be believed.

The pilots starred at Trowa in shock. He coolly stared back.

            Relena:            We may have to make an exception, next girls’ night.

            Hilde:              With Cathy & Trowa, we could all be satisfied.

            Cathy:             I could use the assistance, my tongue is already tired.

            Sally:              Don’t worry ladies, I brought gifts

A light humming sound filled the air.

            Sally:              Here you go ladies, orgasms all around.

A paper bag rattled.

            Hilde:              Oh man, where do you put that?

            Sally:              Here let me show you.

The pilots waited silently, staring intently at the speaker.

            Sally:              Then you turn it on.

Hilde’s loud moan filled the air.

            Noin:               With that, I say we head to the bedroom. That is if Hilde can pause long enough to walk.

            Cathy:             Come on Hilde, we have to be part of Dorothy’s first time.

            Dorothy:         I…

            Relena:            Don’t worry, we’ll be gentle.

Duo:    I can’t believe this is Relena. Heero did you know…

He turned toward the desk, but Heero was gone.

When the girls reached the top of the stairs they burst into laughter.

Relena:            I don’t know who was worse, Hilde or Sally

Sally:              I can only imagine the seizers Wufei is having right now.

Hilde:              Duo totally deserved it.

Hilde grinned evilly

Hilde:              And let me apologize in advance for all of the sex tapes you are going to                                    start receiving.

Noin:               You ladies have quite the imagination, I had trouble keeping up.

Relena:            *giggle* Now they think poor Quatre runs around without                                                  underwear.

Dorothy:         He does.

Cathy:             You made that up. Didn’t you?

Dorothy:         No

The girls stared at her

Dorothy:         There isn’t a piece of underwear in his home.

Sally:              And how would you know that?

Dorothy cocked an eyebrow

Everyone:       Oh!

Relena was still grinning to herself when she entered her bedroom. Making her way to the vanity she saw something shining on the bed. Curiously she went over and picked it up. It took only a moment for her to recognize the cool metal circles.

Heero: I prefer to use my own.